We ended up going to Bondi instead of Bronte. We forgot to get the Navman and the E-tag out of the other car and we didn't wanna risk getting lost, so we decided to go to Coogee instead, a place my cousin said she could get to with no problems and my sister said she was more familiar with. We made a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in Bondi. Haha.
It was a really good day yesterday. And since I haven't had a real summer in the past year (I was here summer in Manila last year and in Manila when it was summer here, and here again now that it's summer back home. *sigh*)it was nice to just lay on the sand and not do anything. Well, not really not do anything because we had two 3 year old kids running around, throwing sand and making sand angels, that we had to watch.
I asked Dada if she liked the beach and if she wanted to live there, to which she replied "With you Mama? Yes! Yay! we're going to live in Bondi!"
I didn't have the heart to tell her we had to go back all the way out west to where we really lived. Haha. So I bought her an ice cream before we went home hoping she'd forget. She kept asking me if we could go back again next time.
Chini, Moi and Ala. Picture taken by Ananda!A FEW QUESTIONS IN MY HEAD:
1. Would you even think of working with a present bf/gf's ex? Or with an ex's new significant other (Depending on which side you are on hehe)
A. What if it was a job you really wanted and
B. What if you were totally qualified for the job?
C. What if it might help you in the future to get this job now?
Someone told me that it would a crazy, silly thing to do. Personally, I have never been one to put aside what i think I can do really well and what I really want for any thing or any body (within reason of course and without stepping on anyones toes) I know I can be professional about things and I don't hold grudges for that long. I physically CAN'T because I get excited when I talk to new people (hehe) So anyway, I am totally not expecting anything but I applied just because. We'll see. I don't know what makes me more anxious-knowing that I will most likely get rejected due to the circumstances OR thinking "what if I get accepted?" haha.
2. How do you work on trust issues? I have them in a major way. I know it's easy to say that just because some idiots did stuff to you in the past, you shouldn't think that everyone will and all that. But seriously, it isn't that easy. Yes, I do blame all my stupid, philandering exes who have turned me into this crazy creature, but since it is all over and done and they will burn in hell someday anyway, i would like to work on myself, because I am with someone who I know would never, ever do anything to hurt me in that way. And I wanna cut him some slack.
NOTE: I am not as crazy as you think. I am not one of those psycho girls that stalk and spy. No! I just know sometimes I can be a bitch about certain things.
3. If you were a single mom what rights do you give and responsibilites would you demand from your child's father? Are there things you should demand for? I don't like the thought of "relying" on him for anything but at the same time I think that as long as he is seeing his child, there should be some things to discuss.
I am not looking to be reprimanded, judged or get shitted on, but I really want sound advice from those who think they can give any. If you are or have been in my shoes then fire away.
My birthday is in 5 days. Ack!
8 comments:
my friend is a single mom and the child's father pays for the kid's education. I think that's fair enough. He also deposits a fixed amount monthly to the child's bank account but my friend has never touched the money. My friend plans to give all the money to her daughter when she's old enough. The only time she'll touch the money my friend says is when there's an emergency (medical or whatever)
but since she earns naman good money on her own, she's never had to get money from the child's bank account, the kid is now 7.
with regards to working with someone's ex, no problem. When things are over, they are over, unless it's not for you.
see, I have the same thoughts regarding that but some people seem to think i'm weird for even considering.
You always express your love for London and your fashion career.
Many times I read fashion companies/school, theaters and even BBC loking for professional make-up artists. And plenty of times I thought of sending your CV to them and few pictures of your folio or your Multiply link. Hehehe makialam ba ng career ng may career!
All I wanted to say is that I strongly believe you can have a career in London where you can concentrate more being away from friends and family.
Marie
haha go go send my cv! Seriously, I am seriously considering London at some point in my life. I LOVE IT. Everything about it. Even if everyone is masungit n the sky is more often than not grey. Maybe when Ananda is older, like in primary school.
My cousin has a child with his ex. He sees his son regularly and pays for most of the child's financial needs - the girl is going through a few issues of her own, so my cousin has had to pick up some of the slack. But then, both of them (my cousin and his ex) have been [suprisingly] mature about everything, and there has been no need to actually demand for anything. If your ex is still seeing his daughter, I think he should contribute whatever he is comfortable contributing - it would be quite a comfort, I think, to have some "emergency" funds or whatever for just just in case. Also, it might be good for Ananda to know (in the future, of course) that she was supported (yes, both emotionally and financially) by BOTH her parents and that though her parents aren't together, they BOTH love her enough to make some kind of partnership work in spite their differences.
Just my two cents.
i honestly think the father should support his child whether or not they see each other... but i think it should be a certain percentage of his income (to be fair)-- not a fixed amount-- specially if his income varies.
in my case, brox's dad and i agreed he'd pay for tuition and everything school-related but he couldn't (daw!) in the beginning so we agreed on him paying half the tuition first. all of a sudden, he started acting like he was God or something just because he was contributing, so i said f*ck it, i'll raise him alone.
so there... you might wanna make a list of ananda's expenses and AGREE on which expenses he should shoulder but he HAS to keep in mind that you're already taking care of shelter and home bills.
i notice you're in the p.i. for months. i'm sure ananda goes to school.. there's no reason why he shouldn't pay ALL of her expenses (especially medical insurance)while she's in the philippines and you're responsible while ananda's in oz.
also, it depends on the father too... is he gonna start acting like an asshole or be demanding just because he's paying and then see if it's even worth-it coz really, who wants drama, diba?
i hope that was helpful...good luck erica and happy advanced burthday!
In this day and age, I think the father should contribute some money 50% or more of your child's expenses as you are raising your child alone ...and this is irregardless if he's seeing her on a regular basis. You shouldn't even have to ask for it, it should be an automatic thing.
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