Dear Sam Raimi,
What were you thinking when you directed Spiderman 3?
No, seriously. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
There were just too many things wrong with the movie, I don't even know where to start.
* Did you fire all you make-up artists and ask the actors to do their own? Is that why I could see Kirsten Dunst's concealer all through out the movie? Or Toby Maguire's double chin *heehee*
* Was James Franco auditioning for his next movie role? or a toothpaste commercial? he didn't look well, he seemed more nutzo as Harry then as New Goblin.
* Was there an actual script for this movie? Because it seems like you gave the actors a general idea or summary and asked them to wing it. Parang sinabi mo: "O, ganito yan ha. Basta kelangan mag-aaway muna lahat tapos sa end, ok na lahat and hindi pwede mamatay si Spidey ha. Repeat, hindi pwede mamatay si Spidey! Sige, bahla na kayo. ACTION!"
*Furthermore, it seemed like all the writers were feeding off each other without asking for a second opinion.
Writer 1: :Wouldn't it be cool if he could wear a black suit?
Writer 2: Yeah He could totally be emo! With his hair just like this (Parts to the side covering one eye)
Writer 3: Yeah, and eye liner! And he could swagger! Make sure it's really exaggerated so people will get that he's turning bad ok!
It was like they played Mad Libs and that's what they came up with!
* That whole Toby Maguire strutting on the New York streets just went on too long. Is this Spiderman: The Musical?
That's just touching the surface. It was just really, really terrible! You know a movie is bad when you are laughing when you are supposed to be sad. I felt no sympathy or compassion towards the characters. Not even when James Franco died. And plus when Topher Grace went to try and save his symbiotic black goo, I kept thinking "My preciousssssssssssssss"
Through out the movie, you are just sitting there, shaking your head in disbelief that this movie actually made it out in the theatres. This is the worst movie I have seen in a long time. I mean, being a comic-based movie, I wasn't expecting Oscar-worthy acting but COME ON.
Please. No more weed when filming the next one.
Sincerely,
The Paredes Kids
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5 comments:
How can we make Spiderman look really, really evil? EYELINER!!!
at least you were thinking about an action film...i was thinking about toy story 2 *woody+buzz+cowgirl*..haha
I TOTALL AGREE!!! The movie was so bad, Jay and I would look at each other and shake our heads. BAD BAD BAD!!!
hahahaha seriously i needed to comment on this- saw your link from a friend. i had been thinking of watching s3, but with all the negative feedback i've been reading recently from the consumers, I say parang ayoko nang manood ng s3, hahahaha! thanks for such a frankly amusing review^^
ha ha ha!!! i mean hella bwahahha! you are damn right!! i watched that movie a week ago.. my god, i didnt know you noticed the very same thing that i did..well..almost everything...aside from those make--up thingy with the eyeliner and so on.. so hilarious!! you made my day! thank you very much!
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