Discoveries!

I realized that I dislike cold soup. I had gazpacho before and I didn't like it, and yesterday, i went to an press lunch where I was served cold watermelon and tomato soup. I had two sips and that was it for me. I put my spoon down and reached for the bread basket.
There's just something about certain tastes that should be hot or cold and they can't be interchanged. Speaking of gazpacho, if they wanted something to refresh them on a hot day, why not just make fresh lemonade or eat a popsicle? I just don't get what's good about cold soup. I really don't like it.

I also discovered that I recently developed motion sickness. I was on a yacht for an event earlier this week and I seriously felt like I was going to barf. I had to stay in one place almost the entire time because I was feeling so sick. It's never happend to me before.Sometimes, i also get car sick when I'm not the one driving. It's so weird.I stopped liking boats when we were on a very turbulent boat ride in Davao years ago. It was so scary and it was night time and my dad actually set up a buddy system already just in case. I really thought it was going to capsize.I felt a familiar fear when the yeacht was swaying really strongly from side to side. It was a good event because it was differnt from the usual that's held in clubs or hotels, but it was kind of scary.

Another thing I realized is that I think I'm doing a good job being Ananda's mom. I've stopped second guessing myself and I'm more confident now. I know I'm doing the best i can given the circumstances. I'd love for Ananda to grow up in a more family environment, you know where there is a mom and a dad and all, but if that's the only reason I have right now for wanting to get married then I don't think it's a very good reason. The fact of the matter is, I'd like for it to happen someday but right now I'm not ready for it. So, for now, I've accepted the fact that I'll have to play both roles, I have to play both good cop and bad cop with her. It's hard at times but our relationship is so much better now. We don't fight as much anymore and I'm seeing her more like my daughter and less like a little sister. I know that sounds weird but I explain to her more why i get angry and all that instead of just getting mad and letting her figure it out on her own. Basta, it's hard to explain but I'm just really happy right now that Ananda came into my life. I've always said in the past few years that I'm trying to fit into my role as mom-and now I think that I'm not trying to be that anymore, I AM that.

Anyway, I've been so busy lately. I want a day or two to just get away and breathe. I miss my family. I miss Sydney. Weird.